When a Marriage Falls Apart

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Divorce is a life-altering decision, regardless of how long you were married or how many children you have. Not only will your physical circumstances change, but your psychological well-being takes a hit as well; it is an extremely vulnerable time. J. Samia Mair opens up and shares her thoughts following her divorce and turns to the words of Allah for comfort. 

Keeping It Together When a Marriage Falls Apart
J. Samia Mair

Everything was upside down. Unlike my colleagues who counted the days to the weekend, I looked forward to Mondays when I was going back to work. And I dreaded Fridays, knowing that the weekend was coming. I remember telling my ex-husband that home should be a place of refuge from the world, not a place of turmoil. It should be a place where spouses support, encourage, and love each other, not a place of belittlement, tyranny and fear. When your worst enemy is your spouse, there can be very little peace at home.

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Divorce and Loneliness

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After a long Summer break, Crisis Analysis returns with our next topic: divorce and loneliness. Many would assume that loneliness is to be expected after a divorce. To have lived with a constant companion, only to suddenly find yourself without them, would leave a mark. However, one would not expect to feel completely and utterly alone. Khurshid Khatib interviews Sana and Maria, two women that found themselves isolated by the Muslim communities around them following their divorce.

Divorce and Loneliness
Khurshid Khatib

Divorce is acknowledged to be one of life’s most stressful experiences. As well as huge personal turmoil, the breakdown of marriage may also bring with it financial burdens or the upheaval of a move to a new home and where children are involved, the traumatic issues of custody and court proceedings. Divorcees may also have to consider the prospect of raising their children alone, a situation that few will have envisaged or expected for themselves.  

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When Divorce Brings Freedom

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As the opening entry to our Crisis Analysis series: The Divorced Muslim Woman, we talk to Shalina Litt. Shalina is a Muslimah who found both strength and freedom through her divorce. Unfortunately, most divorces are seen as a breakdown of marriage resulting from faults on both sides. Now, whilst this may be the case in some divorces, it is not the truth for all. 

Shalina shares her story – how walking away from her marriage lead her to start an exciting new chapter in her life…

Getting Divorced Was The Best Thing I Ever Did
Shalina Litt

If I told you he stamped on my head and I still stayed married to him, you’d think I was crazy.  What did it take for me to finally walk away? I lost my baby. For me, that was when the case was closed. I asked for my khula [divorce], full of emotion. At this point, I was surrounded by people who were full of opinions about our messy end. Nothing else mattered to me but justice. I felt like after this part of my life I had nothing but my religion to lose.  I prayed desperately to Allah SWT to keep me on this straight path.

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Crisis Analysis: Muslim Women and Divorce

 

Image Credit: http://lamya-and-co.deviantart.comUmm SalamahSaudah bint Zam’ah

Zainab bint Jahash
Hafsah bint ‘Umar
Juwayriya bint al-Haarith
Umm Habibah
Safiyah bint Huyy
Maimoonah bint al-Haarith
‘A’ishah bint Abu Bakr
Khadijah bint Khuwaylid

These were the wives of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W, the Mothers of the Believers. Excluding ‘A’ishah, they were all either divorced or widowed when they married Rasullulah S.A.W.

Fast forward 1400 years and divorced or widowed Muslim women are struggling to re-marry, struggling to cope, and struggling to break away from the oppressive stigma that plagues their every move. Continue reading